thoughts of the night

I guess she's right. I am restless but i don't feel the negativity about it. i feel it as a kind of energetic drivenness that propels me to somewhere. it's keeping on and moving. and that somewhere, that place to be is where all the moving will build, construct and create a life and a happiness that comes from within. moving is not being chased and running away. it's searching perchance to find a muse, and source that is not ending, something that can actually fuel me forever. the third source for both of us.
yes, sometimes creation and power comes from silence and stillness, but it doesn't feel right at the moment. becuase at the moment being still is a passiveness I can't bear. I don't have the quietude in me that is needed to rest properly. the moment I sit still, I feel all slow and unproductive and worn out. but doing something at least gives me the feeling of being active in creating some change.