the source! the solution?

I'm not strong and I can prove it.
I don't fear spiders or wild boars, I don't fear the fist of a guy out of the dark.
But I fear feelings, I fear everything emotional, if I somehow could, I'd cut out the part in me that feels. I even managed to stop being afraid of death or loss because it would mean that I'd had to feel fear. Highly irrational. but i guess, everyone has the right to be irrational at some point.
I'm numb.