facing walls

sometimes you find yourself in front of a wall that someone put there very matter of factly. and what do you do then?
i used to talk to it and when that didn't work I grew up.
the walls were smaller then and one could just step over them.
but somehow there's always someone so much bigger than yourself and then growing up just isn't an option anymore, cuz this is as big as you get.
so what I did then was to start screaming at the wall to make it crumble, I used to pound against that wall until my fists bled, then my wrists broke and I just slid down to lean against that wall and weep.
giving up never is an option. it's often only about reprieve but finding out who puts the walls there makes quitting come closer, and the fists heal slower then. the will to pound against that wall is diminished and the power loses itself in sensless pain and after a while, painless senses.
it hurts to face a wall like that and I'm still waiting to heal.
it's a very dark alley and it's very silent but noone hears anything. Not a place where you wanna spend a night.