my life in 2 hrs

My name is finn and I'm post free for 16 days. No, I haven't found a self help group for web-addicts, but I definitely haven't been around much lately. Various reasons, no good excuses.

Anyway, today we had a little x-mas get together after class (remember my tutoring-job?) and I somehow ended up being the last tutor left with the prof (let's call her C) and we kinda started to talk about online advertising and got to social networking and blogging, all within 1.5 hrs or so. During this time I was busy explaining the interwebs to C. She was busy wondering how I fit all of this into my already busy schedule.
I had a really good time and it was a good talk that at first I simply enjoyed for the entertainment value but on the way home it got me thinking...

why do I blog, do I spent too much time reading tweets? While I would usually wonder if I could find a more efficient feed reader, I now wonder if I maybe spend too much time online.
In the end everything will revert back to "normal" and I'll have my Rachel in the morning - to go, like my morning starbucks coffee (caramel macchiato).
I'll read my tweets on the tram and fret about the slow connection of my cell phone.

But I still think, that it's a good idea to question certain things and wonder if all the interconnectivity has a downside. I guess I needed to stop and look for a second, just to see the disadvandages and check back if I'm still ok doing what I do.

I was shocked at first, realising that I can reduce my life away from work to a two hour conversation in a cafe, but at least that gave me the reason to come back to blog...

the joys of a proportional representation system

In Austria we don't have a winner take all system, we distribute our votes proportionally into seats in the parliament.
That of course means that after the elections it can tak forever until a coalition sees itself fit to go to work. That is why they prolonged the legislative period from 4 to 5 years. Nevermind, that the coalition fails every two years and we re-elect the same parties. I don't think I have to stress that not an awful lot of work gets done and quite a bit of controversial policies drop under the table.

Austria held elections on 09/28 and the parties are still working on a coalition. And that in itself would be worth a long post, rambling about how they started putting together their negotiation teams AFTER the election and so on and so forth, but I won't do that.

Instead I simply wanted to state that concerning economic policies the two people negociating are Doris Bures (SPÖ) and Karlheinz Kopf (ÖVP). The SPÖ is the leading party and I think we all agree that the economy is pretty fucked up right now and therefore the economy policy negotiations are important and should be viewed as such.
Doris Bures was a dental assistant before she became a politician. When she was a politician she was in charge of gender and housing issues - one might say the stereotypical "womens' issues".
Why do they put her up to discuss economy with a guy who worked in this field all his life in various positions? Is there a chance that SPÖ-issues will even be considered? Will she give in before he even has to argue? I don't wanna say that she's not good at negociating - I don't know that - but does she have any qualification?
Am I the only one who thinks this is a joke?

All saint's day

It's Saturday. And like almost every Saturday I got my purse and went to the store to get the things I didn't wanna carry the day before or the things we forgot to buy the day before.
So minding my own business I walk down the street to the store to get some Diet coke and while I'm still wondering why so few people are out on the streets on a Saturday it suddenly dawns on me: It's a national Holiday and stores are closed!
It should have been a clue when yesterday people were filling their carts like mad (because we all know when there's a holiday we need to buy more for the weekend?!) and the newspaper wasn't delivered today, because there is none today, because it is a fricking holiday.

But instead of thinking, I was happy that there were few people around because that would probably mean I wouldn't have to wait in line at the check out for half an hour...

The scientific ego-boost

It's been a while since I had something to blog...but finally I have something to share!!

Some of you know that I'm almost done with University and the only thing I still have to do is wait for beaurocracy to work out and then go fetch that piece of paper saying I'm now officially done with University. For a while, I played with the thought of a carreer at University only to realise that it's all nepotism and a tipped scale of power, ergo very hard to get a job there - plus the downside of getting paid virtually nothing...
So a couple of months ago, I agreed with myself to find a job elsewhere.

Today, I got an e-mail from one of my teachers there asking if I might be interested in a tutoring position. It's not decided if the position will be offered at all (beaurocracy again) but she was asked to go find potential tutors and thought of me - YAY!!!

This might not sound so astonishing to you but it is and here's why: In Austria there is a student-teacher-ratio of about 300:1. At least last time I checked - I have to admit, it's been a while. This means that teachers don't know their students, they don't know their names, grades or faces. For students it's hard to get noticed and find some sort of mentor or whatever, especially because one hardly has more than one class with the same teacher throughout one's years at Uni.
So now, after I was in her class last summer, this teacher actually remembers me and wants me to tutor her extra class (insert complicated course system here) about Philosophy and Critique of Social Science.

I'm so psyched, I can't even begin to tell you. I really hope this works out. I would still have to get another job, but the thought of not having studied for "nothing" but acutally using the knowledge I gathered is enticing...

how to go in circles and circles and circles again...

We're back from Sweden. We voted.
All these things mean nothing anymore after an afternoon at my grandparents.

I bought these pants that turned out to be good pants but a tad too long, so I asked my grandfather - a tailor - to make them shorter for me. In return for the favor I'd drop by for coffe and cake.
That may sound strange but it is in fact more fun for my grandparents to make coffee and cake than it is for me to be there and engage in a conversation most likely to make me go nuts.

So while grandpa was tinkering with my clothes, I taked to granny in the kitchen. She repeatedly told me that her neck hurts (what's new?) and that the went to a gym class today which she didn't like (no news there either). Mom and I think she's got some sort of Alzheimers or Dementia or something (test results still unknown) so I don't mind her being repetitive.

But then she started to tell me about how great the elections went yesterday because the social democrats won. She's right they won, but when I tried to explain that our great coalition parties may still come first and second, but they lost almost 6 and 9 percent of their votes, which technically makes it a loss for them, she started arguing that the front-runner of her preferred party (W. Faymann) is most qualified and that he at least is not as weak as his predecessor and all will be well now.
In an whim of attempted self-torture, I plunged into explaining that the chances are very real that her party will not be in government even though they came first (insert complicated coalition system here), and that we might very well have a right-wing government for the next period. Her mind bailed on me and she kept explaining to me that this won't happen because of her very strong front-runner. I wanted to give up on that issue right there and then and my mind screamed at me to let it go and be happy she didn't vote for the right-wing party, but somehow I couldn't and kept on discussing politics with her.
I do this every four years after the elections. Lately, I've been doing it every two years because of the instable governments we've had. I should know better by now. It seems I don't.

So coffee and cake was served and grandpa joined us and we started talking about the social justice problems in Austria and I was blind sided by xenophobic remarks. My grandfather had voted for the social democrats, I know that, because he votes for them since he turned 18. But somehow the xenophobic rhethoric of the right-wing front-runner of the freedom party (H. C. Strache) crept into my grandfathers vocabulary and stayed there. He probably had watched the speeches and discussions of that guy before the election and this is what happened.

In a way I'm thankful that this happened today. Because now at least I can explain to myself why those right-wing idiots increased their votes by 7 %. But on the other hand I still feel the urge to bang my head against a wall.

The great country of Austria or why change will not happen here

As you may have known from my Shelfari on the right, I'm reading Valerie Plame's book about her being outed as a CIA officer. The book really got me thinking if it would ever be possible for such a thing to happen in Austria and I came to the conclusion that no, it really isn't.

We don't really have an Intelligence Service comparable to any IS of the States -that's how unimportant we are. We have only one Intelligence Service that can be taken seriously. They are part of the military which is a joke by itself. They are responsible for things happening abroad and apparently were (maybe still are) THE Intelligence Service to talk to when it comes to questions on the Balkan area. BUT here, no one gives a damn. Most Austrian citizens wouldn't even know the name of our IS (btw they don't even have a website, that's how secret they are!) let alone be interested in what they are doing.
I think - apart from it maybe being illegal to out a secret agent - no journalist would think twice about publishing the name of an agent if they had one, they simply wouldn't because no one wants to read a boring thing like that.

I could go on giving you example of how no one cares about Intelligence in Austria, but where I really wanna go with it is the level of political resignation here. There is a lot going on with the elections in September and all, but people are generally uninformed, me thinks.
I get the feeling that people only care about politics - and instantly become experts on the matter - in times of elections. I admit that happens quite often given the fact that we seem to have quite an instable government that can't keep it together for the 4 years of their legislative period (thank god they decided that with the beginning of the next, the legislative period will be 5 years). People love to complain though. Austria harbors the best complainers worldwide, we do nothing but.
Given the general sentiment of complaining about how bad it all is and that the parties really can't govern properly, I don't understand why people still vote for the same two or three big parties. Wouldn't it be logical to say, "It seems that these guys couldn't get it right for 60 years, maybe we should give the small parties a chance?". No, it doesn't happen, because that would mean change and a chance that everything might turn out for the better and who can guarantee that people will still be able to complain?

I'm thrilled to see a new party (LIF) on the ballot. It was there before (in the 90ies) but it's back again bringing fresh blood into the election "campaign". I'm curious to see how many votes will be taken from the other relatively small left wing party (Greens) and how many will vote for the new party only because they don't wanna vote for the same old big ones...My guess is the LIF will cause trouble for the Greens and no one will be in a position powerful enough for a strong opposition.

I'd really love to see this country change and open up and make step into a modern future, but I'm too frustrated and too disillusioned to really believe that can happen. Because if you get honest answers from Austrians, THE DON'T GIVE A DAMN about anything if it doesn't directly concern them.

My guess is, that being a neutral country fed the Austrian tradition of looking the other way with a concerned face. "We can't do anything, our hands are tied because we are a neutral country, sorry!" Over time this has trickled down from high ranking politicians to the average joe on the streets. People will not help you or do anything to improve their situation, because they don't care if they are not the victim and when they are they will complain a bit to vent. They are bored with foreign politics because we are neutral and nothing will happen to us anyway. They are not the victim, they don't care. They are bored with Austrian politics because politicians are all liars no matter which party they're from, what can we do anyway, let's whine and complain a bit.
Austrians are passive, we didn't even have a revolution back in the days. It even seems that Enlightenment is a strange concept to some - it's too risky, let's not think for ourselves and demand a change for better or for worse.

the political dilemma is slowly kicking in

so I'm at my parents' place in Lower Austria enjoying the fresh air and the quietude. Also I managed to master twitter and successfully use my account (feel free to follow me!).

Earlier today, I joined my grandmother watching TV. There was this political debate thing going on. The head of the Green party was facing the head of the social democrats. I'm telling you, I've never seen such ignorance and pseudo-intellectual discussion that my head started spinning.
They were talking about "non-issues" in such detail that I wanted to scream at the TV.
These people are supposed to run our country. These people want my vote come September 28th - I really have no idea what to do.

Beijing 08

The Olympics start today. I don't have a TV. Wrong. I do have a TV but it works with my Wii but there is no way in hell I can watch actual TV programs on it. I can watch TV on my computer though.
I may have ranted about this some time ago, but in Austria we have the state funded broadcasting company offering two main channels one of which is for people over 50 and the other shows stuff like reruns of old TV shows like Charmed and Gilmore Girls.
In winter they show every ski run (not the snowboard stuff though) and in summer they show formula one races and football (or soccer if you are in the states). Then we have one private funded channel that is only a little better targeting an audience a bit younger than the broadcasting company. They will show the MotoGP and football as well.
I'm hoping that they'll show at least some of the Olympics life (make that some of the competitions that interest me) because I HATE all that summarized and recapped awefullness they usually produce with big events.
Anyone who knows a free programm that allows me to watch the Olymics on my computer (in a decent quality)- PLEASE let me know!!

let's play cops and robbers

My boss called me Tuesday evening to ask me which day of the week the 28th was, because he was without his calender. When I told him it was a Saturday I heard him swear for the first time. I thought it was strange to be upset about this but was wise enough not to ask.
Yesterday, I was minding my own business in my little corner room office, he called me up ten minutes before I left to let me know that he was talking about July and not June and had forgot to mention that and that he would need me that day for a bit longer than my usual office hours and if it would be possible for me to make no plans for that day. I was impressed by him thinking that far into the future (he's usually not planning further than 10 minutes, that's what he has me for) that I said yes without knowing what he really needs. I had an idea what it might be, because a case that we've been working on fitted nicely into that pattern. I was so wrong.
I can't really go into detail because it's highly classified information (wow, doesn't that sound cool?) but he needs me to play the resident Mary Poppins for some people.
I was fighting hard to keep my face straight. I'm not the nurturing type, that's a fact. But I don't know how I could make anyone believe that I was. Plus I may need to get myself a British accent. I obviously wasn't doing a good job at conceiling my amusement because he asked me if I thought his plan sucked. I honestly told him that it was a brilliant plan but that it wasn't so brilliant to make me a nanny. There's quite a bit of money in it for me, though. And I really don't know anyone better for the job itself, if it weren't for the nanny part.

Bottom line: if any one of you has any hints and tips on how to appear like a nanny for two kids age 15 and 17, feel free to fire away and let me know. The kids will of course know that I'm not the nanny, but some other people really need to believe that I am.

In defense of Lisa

gf and I devoted 40 minutes of each week to Bravo's Top Chef. We both don't like Lisa. Since we are not alone in that perception I kind of wanted to know how that happened. I was really pissed that Lisa stayed and Antonia had to leave.
After a while I at least got myself to think that it wasn't the time for mistakes and Antonia had a bad day...
So today when reading Dorothy Snarkers recap of the last episode I found out that apparently Lisa is a nice person who gets edited to be the angry lesbian. Why on earth does that happen?
I mean, the few times she got to smile she looked really nice. No doubt she's a fierce person, but we don't get to taste her food and so we don't know how good she really is.

I'm still pissed about Antonia leaving but after reading about the editing job on the show I'm more pissed about that than about my fav chef having a bad day.

The job interview

I just had a job interview. I've had a couple before that and everytime I'm amazed at how nervous the people I interview are. As if I were some kind of horrible threat to their future or something.
This time around it was actually quite relaxed and we had a nice talk. I have a very good feeling about this one and so did she about the job I offered her.
No one signed anything yet, but I'm pretty sure that it'll work out just fine. I'm glad that I didn't cancel after tonight's occurances...(Gf had to call an emergency physician for me cause I was curled up in pain even after I had taken an elephant dosis of pain killers. It really has never been this bad to be a woman! The doc came and gave me a shot of something and all's fine now again. I never got why people are afraid of needles. In situations like these I love them. Anyway...)

Which leaves me almost jobless. I hate job hunting...

Petition for cool nights

If you by any chance were wondering were global warming went - it's here!
It's the end of May and it's normal be hot by now. But I still believe in a cold night breeze (call me old fashioned) and when I can't get that plus feeling all sticky and sweaty all day at work (no we don't have air conditioning) then...grrr. I'm all for a little heat in summer and in between the sheets but I don't appreciate the night not doing it's fricking job to cool off the air.

end of rant in 5...4...3...

update

I haven't blogged in ages and I'm sorry for that...BUT I have a new laptop now and things are gonna get better, I promise.

After LG successfully ended her job search, I will soon begin mine and I'm kind of dreading it already.
I haven't really started to research yet but what I really wanna do is near to impossible because such an industry does not exist in Austria and I predict it never will. So what's left is to find a decent paying job to save some money for moving out of here...(and buy some nice goodies before that...)

But before all of that starts I still have to recruit someone new for my position. I've had to recruit people before but it was for jobs where I didn't expect a perfect CV and letters and the like...this time around I'm looking for someone really good. You wouldn't believe the applications I received. Gf and I looked at them together and we really had a great laugh!
So on Friday I'm meeting two hopefuls. Keep your fingers crossed that one of them is as good as I want her to be, then I can finally quit this damn job here...

LifeBall 2008

I kinda always wanted to see how it is. The atmosphere, the people and so on. But at the same time i never wanted to have to go through the process of selecting some sort of costume and make-up,...

I don't like the cult they create around their bodies. Also i'm always very intrigued by it.

Tickets cost about € 150 so it was out of the question anyway. So this year gf thought she needed to go because of work and i was less than thrilled of the thought of my unfit body half naked at a high society event. Almost a week later now i've grown accustomed to the thought of attending and seeing the likes of sharon stone, rose mcGowan and alan cumming there. I even had some ideas for make-up (yes, me bad lesbian. Me know how to apply make-up in emergencies) and clothes and really had begun to look forward to spending an evening with a bunch of crazies.

Now, gf tells me that she very likely will get no tickets anymore...



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Sent via cell phone.

my 2 cents

I called in sick today. i'm not acutally sick. I'm sickened. I found that counts too.

Thank God it's not my own thesis but yesterday I realized what I should have known one and a half months ago. Mr. Advisor is not qualified to be an advisor.
The Vienna University, where I'm still enrolled because I haven't yet done my last to term papers, one of which is due today (do I really need to mention that I'm not done?) - bach to the point - the Vienna University is a chaotic and unorganized lot of people who usually don't have an idea what they are talking about. I was lucky enough to have found some professors who know their trade and therefore taught me at least a little bit of scientific knowledge.

Mr. A* (insert *dvisor or *sshole here) told the gf that she wouldn't be able to write thesis one and a half months back. fair enough, it seemed undoable. But when the gf came home from the meeting without any real input from A* I should've known something was fishy. I have someone stepping on my toes with every term paper I have to write. that unnerves me but it at least makes me finish the papers sooner or later.
Mr. A* was never heard of again until gf handed in a first version of the thesis last week. Back came the famous e-mail in which he elaborates that it's a little late, isn't it. Hmm. let me think a bit, who set the deadline again?
Well, some hours ago he sent another e-mail claiming he read the thesis and had some things to critisize. I was shocked, literally.
I knew that the University gf went to is organized differently from mine, but her kind of Universities are rumored to be less unprofessional and yet it was possible for that A* to send gf a completely useless piece of shit called feedback. where he claimed that the thesis lacked structrure while his own feedback didn't even have so much as a thread to work by. If I hand in on time I get back my hard copy of the paper with comments, or I get an e-mail sticking to the structure of my paper explaining in the last bit of detail what was problematic and what was good. Not doing the corrections for me, but at least so that I know what the problem was. The mail of Mr. A* was a guessing game, mixing layout with content and much worse stuff too. I read the mail and while gf was shocked because it said that the work wasn't good enough (which I strongly disagree with), I was shocked because of the way it was written. I honestly thought there was some sort of attachment that I hadn't seen yet, something to work with.
Well, acutally I wanted to leave the ranting to the gf but after staying up almost all night to correct the whole thing with her, I have a right to rant too.
And bless my good Dr. P, who's organized ways are valued even more now.

that also means I'll go work on my paper now, so I might even hand it in today or tomorrow.

boss has just left the building

literally. He went to Italy for business or something along the lines of it.
So I'm in charge now and every one has to suck up to me. Well, theoretically, if I wasn't the only person in the office and someone would actually be here to suck up.
What good is a powertrip if there is not a soul to be opressed? *hrmpf*

Then at least I can have to days of office work on my own, get a lot done and actually see the pile shrinking because no one is here to pile on me.

Yay!

superficial stress-levels

I'm at work and gf is at home, working on her thesis. I'm quite proud of her for doing that, since I chickened out she is keeping up the appearances.
I'm cleaning the apartment though. I'm in for the big spring clean and being slightly OCD that takes a while and is pretty shiny afterwards. I'm done with half the apartment and will do the rest today and probably still tomorrow :)

also, we had the plumbers here this morning (at 7 o'clock) and I can't decide between falling asleep and being happy for our again working drain...

it seems that we're running low on our stress levels, but that's just the surface...you haven't seen my to do list :)

'nuff said

a couple of numbers to be amazed by.

cleaning up with feminism

I do consider myself a feminist. not radical or activist, but a women with a sense for the feminist cause.
I don't support role clichés and I don't like the inequality that still exists between men and women, and so on and so forth...

Yesterday, I got a vacuum cleaner for my birthday. I asked for one, so it's not the typical "I-give-that-woman-a-household-device-for-her-birthday" kind of thing. BUT...the whole evening I was crazily happy about having a new vac-cleaner and finally being able to throw the old one out. I became my great grandmother's grandmom! I put the whole thing together like a child builds a house with LEGO and was happy as a clam when the thing worked and acutally sucked in the dirt instead of spreading it throughout the apartment, like my old and broken one does. I felt horribly like a TV ad of the 40ies or 50ies.

Then I figured, feminists have to clean too!

the socialists' lament - a rant

gf and I went to a concert today. we're in vienna, in one of the most prestigious and pretentious buildings the city has to offer. The Musikverein. gf's mom is playing in this orchestra and they played Grieg and Carmina Burana. I like the Scandinavians, so Grieg wasn't a problem. Carmina Burana is ok in the beginning and in the end, but I'd be ok with cutting out the middle part. Carmina Burana in 15 min - my ideal.
We sometimes go see gf's mom, and we're both not the biggest fans of classical music but today's music was ok.

I have a "problem" with the audience and the environment usually. First off, they had a fence on the edge of the stage. I wasn't sure if it was to keep the musicians from falling down or to make it clear to the audience that they are "just down there". After all, the musicians sit; unless one of them has a seizure they CAN'T fall off the stage!
The room is all golden and really pretentious, but only for people without legs, because I have the shortest legs, and my knees would hurt from crashing with the front seat...

So, apart from listening to ok music in a building I find ugly I really don't get the people there.
None, and I mean NONE of these people there smiled at one point. They didn't have fun at all in there. Why do they go? because it is so beautiful. Serious music. "we don't listen to music to be entertained". bottom line: they don't have fun.
during the middle part of carmina burana - the one that I found so boring - I could see people shift in their seats, keeping straight faces to appear as if they were taking serious what happens down there. they all have sticks up their ass and the nerve to suit up on sunday morning. I don't get them.

why do people like the pathos of all this? why do people like to listen to the same thing over and over again for centuries and not change a single thing? why can rock bands incorporate a bach sonata but a symphony orchestra hardly ever play korn?
why is there no real variation? no wonder they were all bored to death.
I hate their arrogance, their elitist thinking.
the musicians thinking they are better than the rest because they are up on that pedestal and ALL these people came to see them. and the audience thinking how good they are being there listening to all this great music and really being a part of the upper crust.

I'm gonna stop this rant now. I think you get my point.
Sorry to come back from hiatus with a rant, but I felt like it.
btw, I met the deadline and my paper was handed in just in time to be accepted for grading. YAY!